HOT SUMMER IN CHISINAU

We had a relatively mild winter this year. Sure, everything was as gray and grim as the prolific Soviet concrete apartments that blot the skyline here, but it snowed only twice and we were spared the wretchedly frigid climes of the past two years. However, we are seemingly paying for this warm winter with an exceptionally warm summer as well.

There aren't too many ways to escape the heat here in Moldova. Moldovans, being stuck in antiquity as they are, maintain the Victorian superstition that colds and sickness are caused, not by germs, but by drafts. Hence, even on the hottest days, Moldovans do not open windows more than a crack, and prevent cross-breezes at all costs. Additionally, Moldova is by and large too poor a country to afford much in the way of air conditioning. Hence, most places are stuffy and hot, and God help you if you have to actually take public transportation. Really, the only escape from the heat is to stay outside during the long summer days (breezes, apparently, don't make you sick if you are outside, only if you are inside) and this is just what Moldovans do.

In summer in Chisinau, outdoor cafes sprout up along every roadside and in every park. Gardens of patio furniture, umbrellas, and beer cups bloom like vast vistas of plastic, cigarette-logoed foliage. People spend their long lazy days engaged in camaraderie and slow inebriation, and the city is abuzz with life, laughter, and drunken flirtation. It's really the best time to be in Chisinau.

Following are a list of some of my favorite cafes in the city. If you ever find yourself in Chisinau in the summertime, enjoy a cold (well, moderately cool; Moldovans also suffer from the delusion that cold drinks, and even ice cream, will likewise make you sick)Chisinau Beer, locally produced Chardonnay, or any of the fresh and delicious locally made fruit juices, and bask in the lazy hazy heat of Chisinau's social forum.



Delice D'Ange, known more commonly as the "French Patisserie", offers wonderful and authentic French cakes, pastries, and quiche. Also, the best ice cream in town!





Green Hills Nistru has a very lush and relaxing patio area. The menu is pretty nice too, with great selections of soup, salads, fish, and main dishes. Although somewhat notorious as a place for local mafia to take their scantily clad escorts, this provides a glimpse into perhaps one of the more authentic aspects of Moldova.



Symposium has a very calm and pleasant patio, but what makes this place really shine is the wonderful selection of local Moldovan wines. Recline into a soft director's chair and treat yourself to your own wine tasting.



Status is a place I find myself going more often than I should, probably because it is the best of the three Poet's Park cafes (the other two being Enigma and Penthouse). The menu is below par, but the drinks are fine, the seats comfortable, and it's a great place to watch the park's denizens mill about.



Penthouse is a relatively new cafe, taking the place of the infamous Pizza Paza. While Penthouse has very comfy white chairs on its terrace, the bar tries far too annoyingly to make itself "hip". Techno dance music blares, and every table is topped with a "reserved" sign so that the too-cool waiters can pick and choose the clients at the cafe - an equivalent to a disco's velvet rope. For Moldova, this kind of elitist nonsense is just pathetic. Give this place a miss.



Cafes, as you can see, are everywhere. Even the movie theater has one! Get yourself properly sloshed before your film begins so you can annoy your fellow movie-goers by jostling through them to the toilet a few times during the flick. Good times!

Note how the cinema plays American movies, advertised in Romanian, which are dubbed in Russian. The joys of a linguistically confused populace. Good thing the movies are all Hollywood trash anyway; I don't feel so bad about not going.





Andy's Pizza is certainly the most popular local chain in the country. There are numerous, sprawling franchises throughout the city, all of which are extremely popular. Mayonnaisey pizzas served by slow and incompetent waitstaff, all at a reasonable price - a recipe for success! I don't go myself, as much because the p[izzas don't do it for me as because - a year back or so - the son of the president of Moldova (a notorious crimeboss) planted drugs in the pizza chain's owner's apartment, forced him to flee the country to avoid prosecution, and then stole the entire restaurant chain for himself. Ah, Moldova - land of opportunity!

Of course, there are other ways to avoid the heat as well. As in the picture below, people are often apt to frolic and bathe in the city's public fountains.



Another, alternative way to avoid the heat is through a careful selection of apparel - or rather the lack thereof. take these girls, for example!



So, if you happen to be in Moldova in the summer time, I hope you take advantage of the wonderful cafe culture that proliferates. (Don't come in the wimter, though, because then all the cafes are gone and everyone huddles in small, smoky, cold concrete bars - gag.) Hai, Noroc!